A Poor Fill for the East Mill

It looks like the vacuum at the East Mill will soon be filled as Ineos Shale plan to locate their Amber Valley fracking offices inside the historic building.

The press release appeared shortly after the government’s sneaky announcement of the Infrastructure Bill last week, just as David Cameron defied his own advice for Brits to holiday in England by getting on a private tax-payer funded jet to Lanzarote (rapidly ruining their tourist trade as everyone else in Britain swears to never book a holiday there ever). The Infrastructure Bill says that British people no longer get to have any say in what happens to anything in England, especially if it is about fracking.

Local MPs heralded the move as “a step in the Right direction”.  Concerns about water and air pollution were rapidly dismissed, stating that water and air standards would soon be in line with the pre-Victorian dystopia that they are aiming to reproduce and that it could replace all the jobs lost by selling the steel industry off to rely on China’s cheap imports.

Further official comment on the plans could not be found but after relentlessly hounding a secretary in the ladies loos, I was told that we should feel lucky that we didn’t get the nuclear option.

Update: This was one of 4 April Fool’s Day articles 2016

Clare Washbrook

Current Editor-in-Chief News and magazine editor since 1995 Post-grads: Literature; Theatre; Journalism, Ethics & Law Community Affiliations: Belper Goes Green, Belper's WW1 Poppies, Amber Valley Solidarity No political party memberships/affiliations.

One thought on “A Poor Fill for the East Mill

  • 1st April 2016 at 7:35 am

    Thank you Nailed for all this informative news on this the first day of April wonderful stuff!

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